Our kids are 13 months apart…so you can call them Irish Twins. People are constantly asking me what it’s like having kids so close together so I wanted to give you a small (sarcastic but very real) glimpse of my daily life:
1. You’ll forget what nonmaternity jeans feel like. You’ll go through pregnancy belly, to postpartum belly, back to pregnancy belly, to cussing the man who created jeans with buttons and praising Lululemon for high waisted yoga pants.
2. Due to years of continuous breastfeeding, your boobs will drop to your waist and flail about like one of those giant windsock puppet men outside of a crappy used car dealership.
3. You get put on house arrest. With both babies on alternating nap schedules you decide staying a hostage in your own home is easier than ever taking them out in public.
4. You’ll become so sleep deprived you’ll forget your children’s name, you won’t brush your teeth until 5 pm when your husband comes home from work, and you’ll put the kids toys in the fridge and their milk in the toy box.
5. The Papa Murphy’s workers will know you by name, your pizza order, and what time you’ll pick up your pizza daily…although extremely embarrassed you’ll stay and talk to them for 20 minutes since you’re dying for a conversations that doesn’t involve Elmo or Mickey Mouse.
6. You’ll forget the oldest is still a baby and greet her in the morning with a similar statement to “Good morning, you are 10 days past due on rent and the washer is open so you can do your laundry for the week.”
7. Likewise you’ll forget No.2 is a baby and get frustrated that he depends on you so much and wonder if there is something wrong with him. “Can’t you tell me when you’re hungry like No.1?! Why can’t you sleep 12 hours?! JK…you’re 4 months old.”
8. You’ll spend an entire weekend deep cleaning your house and it’ll take 15 minutes for them to make it look like it was ransacked by drug lords.
9. Diapers will be the highest monthly expense in your household. Sometimes you’ll contemplate if they really need changed, even when their diaper weighs more than their body weight to save money.
10. You’ll be glad one day that they are so close in age!
11. Repeat #10 daily.
My Irish Twins are best friends and they have changed my life forever. I am the luckiest mom in the world to raise these sleep stealing, bank depleting, heart filling tiny humans.