Motherhood: The hardest job I’ve ever had. But what an amazing journey it has been. The transition from the corporate world to a full-time, butt wiping mama was such a big change for our family. There’s such a wide variety of mothers: ones that work full-time, ones that stay home, and ones that create a balance between the two. So many don’t get the option to stay home and so many choose to work! Motherhood is full of sacrifices no matter what path you take. I find it especially helpful to read about others’ journeys, so it feels right to share my own.
Let me just start by saying this: I never thought I’d leave the corporate world, nor did I really want to. I truly enjoyed my job (I was in Marketing for an Oil & Gas company). I enjoyed the work, my co-workers, the challenge, and the stress. I really encompassed every aspect of my role. When I got pregnant with Paisley, we were over the moon, but I knew we would have to make some very tough career decisions. Would I be a full-time working mama and take her to daycare? Would I work part-time? Or would that be it? Would I turn in my pinstripes and pumps for sweatpants and Sesame Street?
I didn’t know if I was ready for that. Hell, in college I was ignorant enough to think I could climb the corporate ladder and one day be the boss lady. My company was more than willing to work with me in every capacity to keep me onboard but also allowing me to be the mother I wanted. I was able to set up a flexible work schedule that both gave me the office time I craved and the home time I needed, which made for the perfect balance. These were such amazing blessings that were hard to walk away from.
When Paisley came along, everything changed. Suddenly, all the fun, challenging projects became burdens and I felt like I was only seeing snippets of Paisley, while not being able to fully enjoy our time together with work deadlines hanging over my head. I slowly started to let my mind drift in morning meetings, wondering what she was doing and if I was missing any “firsts.”
When we had the wonderful surprise of being pregnant with Jack and with Paisley being at such a fun age, I knew deep down that I wanted to stay home. I wanted to experience every aspect of my children; the good, the bad, and the down right disgusting. I honestly was afraid to admit that. To my husband, my parents, my boss, and mostly myself, and I am not really sure why. Was it the fact that everyone I knew would be shocked and disappointed with all the effort I had put in to my career, only to quit at the peak? Or was it the fact that when strangers asked me what I did for a living, I would smile agitatedly and say “I am a stay at home mom,” wondering if they would judge our family decision?
My husband is the most supportive man and he’d been wanting me to stay home since we had Paisley, but he also wanted it to be my decision. We both agreed that it was best for our family for me to take the stay-at-home plunge when Jack was born. I called my boss with the biggest, ugliest tears rolling down my face to tell him I would be staying at home with the kids. I cried because I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to stay home, I cried because I was closing a really enjoyable and challenging chapter in my life, and I cried because I was so damn excited to wear leggings and a greasy ponytail everyday as “work attire.”
These days I’m learning how to take care of two babies, while also taking care of myself. We have play dates, Target trips, and I’ve learned how to eat an entire meal while carrying a toddler and a carseat. I’m also learning how to develop a stronger marriage with not only a husband, but an incredible father. My house and hair are 10x messier and some days I truly wonder if the entire neighborhood brought their laundry to our house. I am loving how this blog is a creative outlet—a chance for me to reach out to other mothers and let them know they are enough. You are enough. Our paths are all so different, but our unconditional love for our children is the same and that’s what keeps us united.