Today is our third wedding anniversary! How the hell did that happen? It feels like yesterday and also feels like forever ago. So much has changed in these three amazing years. Three houses, two babies, countless dirty diapers and sleepless nights, yet I’ve never loved you more. I look back at our wedding photos with tears in my eyes and think how truly grateful I am to be your wife.
I never thought we’d be where we are today three years ago, but damn am I happy it has worked out this way. I could go on for hours about the memories we’ve made and all the lessons we’ve learned in our short time being married. Since it is our third anniversary, I thought I’d recap three impactful points that have rang true throughout this last year.
Love our babes, love each other more
This one is honestly super hard for me. I am obsessed with our children, like in an unhealthy, creepy, stand over their crib and watch them sleep kind of way. But I have been really working on balancing that by giving my husband just as much love and attention. Instead of being excited he’s home from work so I have an extra set of hands, I truly am excited to simply see his face and be grateful we have another day together, as it’s not always promised. We love our kids like crazy, but we know the best thing we can do for them is to take care of each other. We’re in the thick of it with Irish Twins, but someday it’ll be just the two of us again and we need to make sure we’ve loved each other well all along so that we don’t feel like strangers when we become empty nesters. Plus, building a strong relationship with each other adds a sense of security and confidence for our kids.
Even great marriages go through really shitty times
We’ve had our fair share of shitty days (figuratively and literally). There have been times when I thought we would never see eye-to-eye, never find a solution, and never get back to those first feelings of newlywed love. We’ve gotten through those times and have fallen more in love with one another. Those days will come again, but that doesn’t mean you call it quits. Parenting isn’t easy, it’s by far the hardest thing we’ve done. But in the words of my amazing husband “nothing worth having comes easy.” So fight for that shit.
Marriages succeed in friendship and fail in isolation
A great marriage starts with a solid friendship. But, even if your partner really is your best friend (which you are babe!), your partner was never meant to fulfill all of your relational needs. Make every effort to spend time with your friends with or without your partner. Making sure you’ve built and kept a close community of people is one of the best things you can do to ensure your marriage lasts. It also is a great excuse for wine nights with the girls!
Bottom line: Kids come into your life, not the other way around. There is a lot of anxiety around how a baby might affect your marriage, social life, and other aspirations. Of course, your life changes immensely the moment you meet your baby, but you don’t have to change everything about your life either. Making space in your life for each other is not only one of the best gifts you can give yourself as a parent, but your kids will thank you for it.
We want to be the parents that our kids are mortified of because we can’t keep our hands off each other. We want to be the parents who support one another through life’s biggest challenges, as we know we haven’t been there yet. We want to be the parents who our kids model their own relationships after.
We may be a little older, a little grayer, and a little fatter, but just like I said in my vows three years ago…I will never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love and I’ll always love you the only way I know how; whole-heartedly, unconditionally, and forever.
Happy 3 years, Mr. E.