Baby boy, you are ONE!! You are the greatest joy and addition to this family we could have ever imagined. This has been the best possible 365 days and I’m feeling all sorts of nostalgic. I’ll do my best to keep it together and share all my mommy joy.
This year has been a complete blur. I know everyone says that, but I really can’t believe it. However, I do know that one year ago I was eating my last pregnant supper…fried pickles. I was devouring as many as I could between early labor contractions and my mind was racing about the hours that would lay ahead for you and me. Hearing your cry, meeting you for the first time, and staring at your perfect newborn, alien face. It added an extra level of excitement and anxiety because we didn’t know your sex!
Labor and delivery was as ideal as possible (I’m convinced it was the calm before the boy mom storm!): an hour long walk around the labor and delivery floor, a candlelit hospital bath, and raw conversations with your dad about how excited we were to meet you. Although the physical pain was severe, I truly enjoyed those few hours leading up to your delivery. While your dad stressed (like he did with your sister!) I was collected, calm, and strong…and so were you.
A few hours and pushes later, I heard your dad say “It’s a…boy???” Yes, with a question mark. He was 100% sure you were a girl that he never fathomed receiving the little boy he was secretly hoping for.
Although this year has been the best, I admit that I could’ve done better. I’m sorry for not giving you the first year that you deserved. I feel guilty every day. When I had Paisley, I dove headfirst into being a mom. I took your sister to every story hour, every mom and me workout class, and every single kid friendly museum in the city. I read every book under the sun to her, I sang every lullaby that I knew, and I bathed her every single night. I spent every available second trying to enrich her life.
I always thought I would manage to do the same for you, but we never quite got around to it. In fact, I really hope you are paying attention to all those books I’m still reading to Paisley because I fully admit that I hardly ever sit down and read to you alone. I’m sorry you’ve spent more time than you should watching Sesame Street so I could get the house picked up or dinner on the table.
I feel awful for every bump and bruise you get because, let’s be honest, I am not doing a great job of paying attention. Ever. I have no idea what you are eating off of the floor most of the time, and I’m really sorry for all the sticks you eat at the park because I couldn’t get to you in time to fish them out of your mouth.
But on August 26th, 2017, I knew you were exactly the baby I needed. To this day, you are still exactly the baby I need. You challenge me to be better, to be spontaneous, to let go of control and have some fun. In your world, “no” means “yes” and “yes” means “destruction”. You have your daddy’s sweet soul, you’ve got your mom’s stubborn demeanor, and you’ve taught us that “baby proof” is not the same as “Jack proof”. We’ve all learned from you that naps are for the weak and life should be a party at all points in time.
I wake up every day grateful that I get to be your mom. You bless our lives with a ridiculous amount of joy. You have toughened up your sister, you’ve taught her how to show such compassion to someone her size, to share, and to be obsessed with someone other than mom and dad. So thank you, you’ve helped our family more than you know.
You are so loved my sweet boy. Today is all about you and I hope it’s the best day yet!